Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My Books, My Belly, and My Gag Reflex.

I have to admit, I've never been very good at taking instruction verbally.
In fact, I rarely take instruction well at all unless it's self-instruction, but that's besides the point.

So, of course the moment that everyone finds out I'm pregnant I'm knocked on my ever-growing tushy by a barrage of "do this" and "don't do this" and a handful other less inviting phrases.

While I graciously appreciate everyone's concerns and intents to share their boundless knowledge and experience, why is it that even though motto of pregnancy is and always has been "No woman is alike", that the first people to forget this is women who have been pregnant?

I expect what I expect, and what I read, and more importantly; I will roll with the punches and get where I get when I get there. I don't need to know that I will be kicking my cat off my bed in the middle of the night because I no longer love him, and even more so, YES I am aware that you don't leave newborns alone in a room with two cats.

C'mon people, it's the first time a baby has been inside me with the full-on intention of coming out, but it isn't the first time this girl has been around a baby. They aren't foreign objects to me.
I have been around a few years, long enough to know that 1. babies are kind of hard to break, and 2. if in fact you do break them, it's ever-so-helpful that their daddy is a medical assistant.

Back to my original point.
I don't take well to people spouting off their opinions (or 'facts' depending on their assertion level) to me. I'm a reader and a doer.
At my appointment yesterday with my midwife, as she was flipping through literature and explaining the high points of the first trimester and what to/what not to worry about:(which btw, did not annoy me because it's her job) I already was aware of 90% of what she said.

Because I, the day after I got the 'you're knocked up' sign from my self-pregnancy test, went out and bought some books. And I read.
The most prevalent message I'm getting from all of it (other than the obvious do's and don'ts) is:

Every woman, and every pregnancy is different.

So as we go into it, it's a whole new ballgame, ladies and gentlemen.
While I appreciate the fact that your wife threw up at the sight of raw chicken, and that you ate peanut butter and jelly at midnight everyday for a month, and you have the "best" cure for constipation........

frankly, conversating about vomit and defacation isn't really what makes a pregnant lady feel fabulous, if you know what I mean. :)


sammy said...

im the same way. along those lines i cant stand those that paint the bleakest picture possible. when my wife was first pregnant with our daughter, my mom was trying her hardest to make me feel incapable and all UN-knowing. she had this gem for me...

mom- you have NO idea how hard this is going to be

me- your right, i have no idea because ive never had a child.

mom- do you know you have to change them EVERY time they poop their diaper?!

me- thanks mom. i wasnt aware of that. i thought it just sort of went away after a few days

btw this is my first time stopping by. im diggin your page and the title of your site ; )

Da Goof said...

You will learn what you need to learn, when you need to learn it.

People seem to think that the whole process of prenatal through infant care can only taught by snippets of wives' tale gibberish, relayed in a degrading fashion.

Given your projected persona, maybe a t-shirt that says "Touch my belly, I punch your face!" It might have saved my wife from countless busybodies.

Em Thomas said...

^ I wholeheartedly support the buying the above t-shirt. That was my least favorite thing about all three of my pregnancies... suddenly I became "the community Buddha" - instead of rubbing my belly for good luck, I was getting touched by total strangers and being given unwanted advice. Then, when the kids where eventually born, it was *them* being bombarded with the unwanted touching.

I don't like strangers.
Neither do my kids.

Karen, you're going to do brilliantly. You may encounter a time or two when you want advice, but smart girls like us don't seek it from random strangers.

-Em / external focus on flickr <3

Sam_I_am said...

I never touch pregnant women's bellies bc I don't want punched in the face.

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